Good Treatment to Parents

We all agree that it is good to treat parents nicely. But we have little idea that how important is that. There are multiple verses in the Qur’an on this point, and sometimes Allah tells us to treat parents nicely immediately after asking us to worship Him alone. By mentioning rights of parents immediately after His own right, Allah gives us clear indication about the importance of treating to parents well.

We will visit two verses from the Qur’an on this topic.

And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you (your care), say not to them [so much as], “uff,” and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, “My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.” 17:23-24

In this verse God commands us to worship HIm alone and no one else, and immediately turn attention to behaving well with parents specially when they became old and depends on others for shelter and their needs. God first says don’t be rough with them, don’t scold them. Then advise us for more positive actions….but speak to them with kind words with love and tenderness. Things do not stop at just speaking…. the words of the quran that follows reflect the majesty of the Quran…Quran uses very poetic and appealing phrases to bring out the best behavior from us……it says spread over them the wings of your tenderness with humility…..means be extremely polite and attend all their needs with love and tenderness.

This is not the end of good treatment, Qur’an further asks a person to supplicate to Allah for his/her parent by saying, oh my Lord have mercy upon them as they brought me up when I was small. This is a kind of acknowledgment that whatever we do for our parents will not be sufficient and they are in need of Mercy from Lord to make their life comfortable.

This is a supplication to God but at the same time, this is a reminder to a person that his parent took care of him with love and tenderness when he was a child. This is very relevant at this point because this is almost the time when a person is doing the same it to his children….bringing them up with care and love…So it is essential for him to remember sacrifices of his parents.

It is necessary to treat parents well under all circumstances every time. But when they are in old age it is more necessary.

And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship and his gestation and weaning [period] is thirty months.…..46:15

Here another verse with different emphasize. This instruction is for everyone, all parents deserve good treatment, specially mothers. The verse takes into account three different kind of hardship endured by mother during and after pregnancy. Arabic word used for good treatment is Ihsan, which denotes the best treatment, and includes service, obedience, respect and reverence.

According to hadith prophet said …Do good to and serve your mother, then your mother, then your mother and then your father, then near relatives and then those who come after them.(Mazhari)[1]

One should not consider parents as burden. Whatever we do to serve the parents, it will never be sufficient to repay them for their sacrifices done for us.

[1] Maariful Quran…volume 7, page 795